Anger Management

 Couples Counselling Can Help Stop Angry Outbursts

Relationship Counselling Can Help Couples Manage Their Anger

Anger is a Powerful Emotion
Have you ever witnessed someone ‘lose it’; ‘chuck a wobbly’; ‘spit the dummy’?
Perhaps you have your own favourite phrase to describe an angry response but the Australian term:
‘she/ he spat the dummy’ says it all!

Regressing to a childlike tantrum confirms that intellectual intelligence is no match for the powerful emotion of anger.

Uncontrolled anger contains ‘emotional warriors’ and the ‘distorted thinking brigade’!
The verbal abuse that this duo can throw at their target often hits ‘bulls eye’ inflicting emotional wounds that can cut deep into the other person.

In the domestic world, raging anger can sabotage a once loving relationship and all too often lead to separation and divorce.

Managing Anger in a productive way can make life so much easier, calmer and more peaceful.

The Power of Emotions
Frustration, irritation and disappointment are three powerful ‘emotional warriors’ that can attack without warning.  The victim of this verbal abuse may retaliate or keep quiet to avoid an argument, particularly if they fear physical abuse may follow.  Either way, verbal abuse still comes under the category of domestic violence, just as physical abuse does. When a person is tired, drunk, or feeling ill, their tolerance can be lower, but these factors should never be held up as an excuse for a mild irritation escalating into aggressiveness.

Anger is a very powerful emotion and is part of our biological history and our natural ‘fight or flight’ response.  Anger helped mankind in the past to survive but in today’s world its usefulness is limited.  Anger is a warning signal within us that something is wrong and indeed we need to ‘listen’ to that sensation and respond in a way that is helpful, not harmful to others, or to ourselves.

In some instances, anger can energise us, motivate us, particularly if we are passionate about an injustice, but anger needs to be on a ‘tight rein’ as it can soon escalate out of control into aggression. Knowing how to outsmart the anger triggers and take back control of the ‘emotional warriors’ and ‘distorted thinking brigade’ can keep you out of a lot of trouble.

Know Your Anger Triggers
What may cause one person to react angrily to a situation may not bother another person so knowing what factors may trigger an angry response in you and how your body sensations change is a good starting point to you staying in control and avoiding an emotional ‘explosion’.

Do You Know When You Are Becoming Angry?
What changing bodily symptoms are you aware of?
What, or who, has the potential to trigger your level of anger?
What is it about this person, or situation that you are struggling to cope with?
(is it something they say, or do, or is it because you are feeling stressed or worried and your tolerance to general life has plummeted?)
How much do you trust yourself to stay in control and handle the situation calmly?
Have you ever hurt someone when you have been angry or hurt yourself during an angry ‘meltdown’?
Have you ever thrown a mobile phone, thumped a door, or damaged property in some other way?

 Sustained Anger Can Affect Your Health
Reacting angrily to situations can affect your long term health.
Preserve your Health.
Choose Counselling or Hypnotherapy to help you manage your anger in a better way and avoid angry outbursts.
Enjoy living a more peaceful and enjoyable life. 
Health and Happiness to you.

For Help With Anger Management please call:
Elaine Walker
Clinical Hypnotherapist and Specialist Counsellor
9300 6026

Nails in the Fence

EW Hypnotherapy can help you deal with angerOne day I heard a story that has stayed with me and I have told this story many times to clients who have been ‘at war’ with each other.  Today I’d like to share this story with you.

A father goes to his son and says: “son, here is a bucket of nails and here is a hammer; there are a hundred nails in the bucket and every day I want you to go outside into the garden, take five nails out of the bucket and hammer the five nails into the fence.  When the bucket is empty, come back and see me.”

The son does what his father asked and each day he took his bucket of nails, and his hammer, and hammered five nails into the fence.  When the bucket was empty he went back to see his father.

“Father,” said the son, ” I have done what you said and hammered the nails into the fence.  What do you want me to do now?”

The father said: ” son, take your bucket and hammer and go outside to the fence and each day I want you to take five nails out of the fence and put them back in the bucket, and when all the nails are back in the bucket, come back and see me.”

The son was confused. but he did was his father asked him to do.  Every day he went into the garden and took five nails out of the fence and put them back in the bucket until all 100 nails were back in the bucket….but, he became very worried.  He went to see his father.

“Father” he said…I’m very worried because where I have taken a nail out of the fence, it has left a hole…and now the fence is covered in holes.”

“Son, let that be a lesson to you in Life.  Whenever you say, or do, anything to hurt another person, you leave a hole in them!”

What a powerful message is in this story.

When I was a child a common saying was :  “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”.   What a load of ‘bull’!  Physical bruises heal but ’emotional bruising’ can last a lifetime.

My role is to help people communicate in a different way that will help them ‘build a bridge of safety’ between them so they feel it is safe to talk about their hurts, disappointments, frustrations, expectations, anything that is bothering them.  Throwing ‘hand grenades’ at each other will only be matched with ‘cannon balls’ coming back at them!  And isn’t it interesting that most of our communication is non-verbal, i.e such things as facial expressions, body gestures, etc. carry a powerful message, it’s not only what we say, it’s how we say it that is so important.

If you would like to know more information of how I could help you, please click on the contact button below.